Category Archives: Life

God’s Not Dead!

Christianity, Family, Life, Parenting, Philosophy, Single Parenting Leave a comment

"Praying Hands" (study for an Apostl...

 

Something wonderful happened yesterday. I took Shelby for her followup appointment for her contacts. All day, I’d been stressing out over the cost of this as we’re a little cash poor at the moment. Finally, I prayed and gave it up to God and told Him that if we could only pay $40, that would be good. We’d be ok. When it came time to pay, the woman told me Shelby gets a three-month supply and…..wait for it……it’s covered 100%!!!! I didn’t have to pay anything.

 

Afterwards, I drove around and I praised God and thanked Him for being so good. His reply to me? “Next time, don’t put my Grace in a box for what I have is sufficient (meaning more than enough) for you.”

 

Immediately after that I saw the most beautiful rainbow ever!! Proof of God’s covenant to me. Proof that He will always perform His Word. Proof that God IS for me!!! I love Him so much!!!!

 

Then I had the opportunity to explain God’s provision to my Emilie.

 

Now, allow a slight digression here – When I was pregnant with Shelby, I always knew in my heart she was a girl and she was my Shelby. There was no question about it. My pregnancy with Emilie was a bit of an oops (the best kind!) but I knew she was a girl before the ultrasound confirmed it. I had no clue what to name her but Emilie was not on the charts because it was so popular. I didn’t want her to have a name everyone else had.

 

One day, during prayer, I felt her name and the spelling of her name – EMILIE – drop into my heart. Instantly, I fell in love with that name and although my husband of the time was disappointed she wasn’t a boy, I knew she would be someone special.

 

Not long after she was born, again during prayer, I felt God tell me that Shelby was going to be a healing presence in the world while Emilie would be a creative one. That has come to pass. Emilie is very creative beyond what you would expect from a 14-year-old. And Shelby is a healer. She has a connection with animals that is uncanny along with an affection and a desire to save them all. She’s also my little environmentalist, wanting to save the Earth.

 

So back to Emilie. We were discussing seed time and harvest. Reaping what you sow. Giving to those who have nothing without questioning their integrity. And I was able to explain how God’s word says, “Give and it shall be given back to you; good measure (meaning not half-filled), pressed down ( to make room for God to put more in), shaken together ( gotta shake it together in order to get even MORE in there) will men give into your lap.”

 

My daughters are both givers. And I pray it will be given unto them. As only a Heavenly Father can give.

 

A Song for My Shelby Girl – Music Monday

Family, Humor, Life, Music, Parenting, Single Parenting 2 Comments

It’s Music Monday and today’s song was introduced to me by my older daughter, Shelby. Unlike her sister, who likes dance/electronica music, Shelby has flair for harder music. She finds a certain honesty in it. And, like my mother before me who endured endless hours in the car listening to Duran Duran, my daughter has exposed me to the wonders of The Black Veiled Brides, Skillet and many others.

Here’s my favorite Black Veiled Brides song!!! I dedicate this to my Shelby, who is always true to herself!

 

My Two Dads

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Happy Father's Day 2011

 (Photo credit: Bricknave)

 

 

I posted this many months ago and today, it bears repeating.

 

I have two dads. I have two moms. Most people raise their eyebrows when I tell them this. I have my mom and my dad and then I have my aunt (my mom’s sister) and her husband, my uncle. All four had a hand in raising me and my two dads have influenced me all my life.

 

Every girl usually dreams of marrying a man like her dad. Whenever that thought crosses my mind, I began to think about these two men.

 

My memories of my father are precious. As a little girl, I would dress up on Sunday and attend Mass with him and my grandmother. Afterwards, we would go out for breakfast. This was my favorite time because of the conversations we would have. I loved them! Then there was those times I would sit in his office with him listening to the opera Tosca and wishing I could sing like the lead soprano. He had a booklet with the words to the opera in it. One side was in English and the other side was in Italian. I used to try to learn Italian to make him proud of me. Each night, I would pray that God would put the knowledge in my head (without me having to actually work for it).

 

My father taught me the box step which I imaged was a waltz. (I’m still not much of a dancer.) At my freshman Father-Daughter dance, he watched me jump about wildly with all my friends until the slow dance came. Then we danced, my dad and me, that famous box step. It was the same dance I did at his wedding to my step-mother.

 

Classical music was also very important. The first movie I ever saw with my dad was Fantasia. I still love that movie to this day! If you haven’t seen it, rent it! You won’t be disappointed. Those images in my head filled me with joy and wonder. The french toast I afterwards filled my belly and made me sleepy! Dad also took me to my first opera. I remember being so excited and wanting to be so fashionable, I bought a stupid, silly black hat with tulle on it! I must have looked ridiculous but whatever the effect, Dad said I looked elegant.

 

Travel is another love my dad instilled in me. Our trip to Italy a few years ago was amazing. It was a chance for me to see a side of my dad I’ve never seen. Italy is magical, beautiful, historic and the people are amazing. I’m so proud to come from such flavorful people. I’m very proud of my dad.

 

Then there’s my uncle – my other dad. He was my Rob Petrie! My aunt was my Laura Petrie. They were perfect – still are! She worked inside of the home, cooking, cleaning and caring for us kids and he worked an important job downtown. Living with them provided me with a soothing sense of balance and stability. There was always a routine. Play until dinner. Then play some more until Mom called you in. Bathe and have ice cream while watching MASH with my uncle. I remember taking that show to heart knowing my uncle served in the Vietnam War.

 

Working a full day never deterred him from playing with us. He was my on-the-floor dad. I flew through the air on the bottom of his feet and learned to dance by standing on the top. I remember sitting on  his shoulders while he scooped low to make sure my head didn’t against the ceiling. He taught me to catch – well, he tried. And when my 16th birthday came and no one showed up for my party, he swooped in, like a knight in shining armor, and took me out for dinner. We had sparkling conversation and he became my hero!

 

We went to see a movie and I mentioned how much I liked the song that was playing over head before the movie began. My uncle, aka my hero, jumped up and actually went and asked the manager if he knew what song it was so that I could eventually buy it. The song is long gone from my memory but his actions have never left me. I watched the myriad of emotion play over him as we saw “Good Morning, Vietnam” in the theatre. One minute, there were tears of remembrance, the next minute he was singing along with the movie’s soundtrack.

 

I won’t ever forget these times with these two precious men. I’m blessed to have them with me still and look forward to more times ahead!

 

A while ago, my dad asked me if I ever considered getting married again. My reply was no because there is hardly such a man who is the perfect combination of these two.

 

You see, I want a man who knows what family is and values family to such a degree that he will welcome his mother-in-law into his home for most of his married life.

 

I want a man who loves to travel and is passionate about culture.

 

I want a man who sees God’s beauty in science.

 

I want a man who cries at Tosca and gets chills listening to Tchaikovsky.

 

I want a man who screams colorful metaphors at the TV while watching the Bears play.

 

I want a man who, within five minutes of sitting down at Soldier’s Field, is instantly friends with everyone around him. And everyone is named, “Guy”. (As in, “Hi, Guy!”)

 

I want a man who will do the twist with me and laugh the whole time!

 

I want a man who will box-step waltz with me.

 

I want a man who is educated in the arts.

 

I want a man who knows a good bottle of wine.

 

I want a man who drinks rum and coke at family parties (but never gets drunk).

 

I want a man who would brave a fist fight with a bigger man just for insulting his wife.

 

I want a man my daughters can look up to.

 

I want a man…like my two dads.

 

Christianity, Life, Philosophy Leave a comment
BEHIND WHICH DOOR,

(Photo credit: marc falardeau)

 

“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”

 

~ Alexander Graham Bell

 

 

 

 Recently a door closed for me – one I thought was wide open. Although I’m still baffled by the reasons, I do believe God was doing what I asked Him to do. I asked Him to open the doors no man can shut and to shut the doors no man can open. Despite what some choose to believe about me, I’m looking to my future but not the one I’ve created in my mind for myself. I choose to look at the reality of the future God Himself has laid out for me.

 

 

Now, all I need to do is strap on my shoes and walk down that road. God is good and He only gives good to His children.

 

Brown-Eyed Girl

Family, Life, Parenting, Single Parenting 1 Comment

It’s Tuesday Tunes time!!!!

So years ago, when my Emilie was a little baby, she had these big brown eyes with super long eyelashes. She still does. I was a stay at home mom when my girls were babies and I remember the song Brown-Eyed Girl by Van Morrison coming on the radio. I would grab Emilie and dance around with her, twirling in circles and dipping her. She would laugh and laugh as her tiny fingers gripped my neck. I kissed her cheeks over and over again!

So in honor of my baby princess, Emilie – who now is 14 and a half – here’s a song that’s always reminded me of her!

 

Five on Friday

Relationships, Single Parenting, Life, Philosophy, Family, Humor Leave a comment
Thank God It's Friday

Thank God It’s Friday (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Happy Friday!!!!

Here’s something fun for Friday! I’m a bit of a questionnaire geek and I thought I’d pass along my geekiness to all of you! So for our first Friday fiver, here’s a bit of an intro.

1. What is your blog about? 

2. What got you started blogging? 

3. What is the best blog (outside of your own) you’ve ever come across? 

4. Where are you from? 

5. What do you do for a living?

And here’s my answers:

1. My blog is about anything and everything that creeps into my brain.

2. Blogging is a way of organizing my thought process, if you will. It’s also an outlet for me.

3. Too many to mention.

4. Chicago, Il

5. Work as a customer service specialist for a kidney dialysis company.

Your turn!!!

Blah Blah Blah…Oh and My Emilie

Family, Life, Parenting, Philosophy, Relationships, Single Parenting 2 Comments
Dahlia Lavender perfection

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

My life is always all or nothing. Either nothing is going on or so much is going on that I cannot seem to stay on top of it.

 

My daughter, Emilie, is graduating 8th grade. She’s completed her home school course, submitted all her paperwork and now waits for her grades and diploma. Impatient as I am and as fast as my calendar is filling, I’m in the process of planning her graduation party which will take place this weekend.

 

Family gatherings, for me, are some of the best times of my life. They are also some of the most stressful.

 

I’m a perfectionist by nature. Not in the sense that my house has to be perfect. But in my head, I’m always thinking about what others are thinking about the event. I’m hoping they are happy with the food served and with the timing of the event. Wondering if I will have enough to talk about. (In my family, it’s really hard to run out of things to talk about! We’re very chatty!) I make mental notes of all the recent news I want to share (and what I don’t). I try to take pictures but this usually falls by the wayside in the midst of entertaining. I try to make sure all the food is ready on time, served on time, everyone has enough to eat and is happy with the day I’ve planned. When the event is over, I go to bed ruminating over conversations, getting down on myself for stupid or tacky comments made and remembering all the things I wanted to say but didn’t.

 

I usually need a day to recover.

 

This weekend will be no different. Family will come and I’m already stressing out over the food, the decorations, the cake, where people will sit in my tiny house, making sure pictures will be taken with Emilie in her graduation gown, will her hair turn out the way she wants it (I haven’t even begun to practice). I’m a mom. I want this day to be perfect for my little girl. I want perfection.

 

I don’t often get it most of all within myself. So one lesson I’m trying to teach myself is to step away from the lifestyle of the perfectionist. For example, my older daughter is 15 and has a typical bedroom of a 15-year-old – meaning you cannot see her floor. I tell her to clean it and she does. She creates her idea of disorganized organization. Drives me insane because, in my mind, I want it to be the way I want it to be and not the way she wants her room to be. So now, I have to choose; to argue or not to argue.

 

But the real argument is not a battle of wills; it is a battle against her idea of perfection and mine.

 

Shelby prefers a laid-back lifestyle. She’s cool with who she is. She doesn’t judge anyone else and she prefers not to be judged but if she is, no worries. It’s not going to change her. She is everything I wished I was at her age and I know her confidence will serve her well. It already has. She has weathered the storm, and continues to do so, for choosing to be true to who she is.

 

Emilie, on the other hand, is a mini-me. Sometimes, that’s good. Sometimes, it’s not. I can already see seeds of perfectionism growing in her. I can see my bad habits of “if I can do it perfectly right off the bat, I will not do it at all” attitude. She gives up easily if she cannot master something quickly. She worries far too much about what others think of her positive they’re judging her for all the wrong reasons instead of praising her for all the right ones.

 

I admit to not knowing how quite to curb this in her so she doesn’t have to go through the mental struggles I go through. I pray high school will give her the opportunity to grow into that confident woman I see inside her eyes. I pray she will understand her own inner strength sooner rather than later. I pray she will not be afraid to try.

 

One chapter in her life closes. Another opens. I cannot wait to see where the road will take her.

 

‘A Cheat is a Cheat’ and Other Readers’ Stories of Infidelity – Yahoo! News

Christianity, Family, Life 1 Comment

‘A Cheat is a Cheat’ and Other Readers’ Stories of Infidelity – Yahoo! News.

This hits home. I remember, after I discovered my ex-husband was cheating on me, going to someone in my church and telling them we were divorcing. I tried to explain that the hurt was too deep, I was too tired of the abuse and quite-frankly, all I wanted to do was to take my babies and go home to my family. I explained he was in another relationship and did not want to get out of it.

 

Their reply was: You gotta hang on. You gotta keep believing. Then someday, you will have saved his life without him evening knowing it.

I said: I’ve done this for ten years and I can’t do anymore. Especially since he refuses to quit his extramarital relationship. I’m done.

Their answer was: Well, thank God Jesus never gave up on us.

I said: I’m not Jesus

….and I never darkened the door of that church again. And I never will.

 

Pat Robertson reminds me of all self-righteous people I meet almost on a daily basis. He reminds me how far people really are from understanding God’s love and he reminds me that even people in his position can stumble over something so simple as love.

 

There is NOTHING I could have done to save my marriage. However, I was smart enough to realize that I was worth saving, that I HAD to be saved from my marriage in order to bring my daughters through as well as myself. I was smart enough to realize that, had I stayed, there was a real possibility that my girls would choose for their husbands what I chose for mine.

 

Was it hard leaving? It sure was! Did it hurt? Yes. My girls and I came home to Illinois broken and beaten and very angry. And yeah, we were angry with God, or I was. I was very angry with God. After all, I was married to someone who stood in the center ring of ministry. But you know what? That’s not enough. It’s never enough. Pretending just won’t do! You either live it or you don’t!

 

Mr. Robinson, isn’t your 15 minutes up yet????

Bathroom Talk

Humor, Life 1 Comment
English: Bathroom Refacing

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

Can we talk about public bathrooms here? Because honestly….I don’t think people nowadays give public bathrooms the respect they deserve. Obviously, I’m a girl and I’ve only ever been in the girl’s bathroom. (Well, there have been a drunken moment or two when the men’s bathroom was closer and available but we don’t have to talk about that.) I have a few pet peeves and a few suggestions to make the public bathroom experience a more pleasant one. 

 

Let’s get the pet peeves out of the way first: 

 

1. What’s with the cheese roll holders that do not allow you more than one sheet of toilet paper at a time. I’m sorry but I’m a big girl and I need that thing to spin like the Wheel of Fortune! One little sheet at a time means I will be in there for the length of a Bible!

 

2. What’s with leaving your human signature behind (literally) when you leave the stall. Is it really too much to turn around and check for cleanliness before you leave? I could see how embarrassing it can be caught cleaning the stall but I would honestly have more respect for you.

 

3. The public bathroom is no place for your intimate phone conversations. I realize how convenient it is with mobile phones to bring them with us EVERYWHERE. However, starting a conversation while in a public bathroom can garnish an unwelcome conversation from the person in the stall next to you who think you’re talking to them. And for the love of all that is holy, please DO NOT talk dirty to your other half while in a public bathroom!!! I really do not want to hear your intimate plans for the weekend, evening, etc……

 

4. Rinsing your hands under water without using soap does NOT equal hand washing!! If you get nothing else out of this post, please hear me on this one!!!!! Only soap will clean your hands!!! And for women, please use a bit of common sense here with regards to where your hands have just been and USE SOAP!!! I cannot say it enough!!! Otherwise, I reserve the right to squirt hand sanitizer on you every time I see you!

 

5. Stop using public bathrooms as your own personal makeup/fashion center. There is NOTHING I hate worse than having to wipe away some strangers’ hair before I can wash my hands. Do your hair and makeup at home!!!! Otherwise, embrace your own natural, messy beauty and MOVE ON!!!! This also covers perfuming. Honestly? I took a shower. If you still feel you need enhancements to your smell, or if you just smell naturally, put that on at home! I’m sick of walking out of bathrooms with a noseful of your perfume.

 

6. Likewise to air sprays. It’s a public bathroom, people. It ain’t always going to smell pretty. Spraying a pretty smell over a bad only makes a pretty bad smell!

 

Now, some suggestions:

 

1. We’ve come a long way with technology. We have toilets that flush themselves (often without you being ready), G-force hand dryers, water that turns on by itself, etc. Is it too much to ask for floor to ceiling stalls? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a public bathroom only to have someone’s child look under the wall or peek through the little slit in the door. Privacy, people! Otherwise, I’ll start charging for what I’m showing!

 

2. Before using any public bathroom, people should be forced to watch a short video on public bathroom usage. It can be available in a few languages. Perhaps it can be a code of sorts by which you must watch this video or the bathroom door will not open. WE’VE GOT TO GET THE WORD OUT, PEOPLE!

 

3. Bathrooms should be made a such material so as to disable hand-held electronics. Again, stop talking on your cell phone in the bathroom. Get in, get out and let someone else get in.

 

Bottom line is public bathrooms are meant for one thing and one thing only. Be kind. Be respectful. And most of all, be quick!